Part 2 Continued - Red Flags of Internet Dating
Online Dating, in a medium where faith in a potential partner is being put at an all-time
high risk, it is important to know if you're stepping blindly. If you're considering an online
dating, or are currently in one, there are a few things you should be prepared to look out for. While each situation is unique, and it is important to go by your instinct, the following list should help you spot any red flags you might encounter.
RED FLAG#1: Personal Information
If the person is sharing or asking
for personal information in the very first few meetings, that
should be considered seriously. No matter how friendly the
person is, considering online dating a little bit unsafe, one
should in no case share or force the partner to share the
personal information. Who knows if there is any truth in what is
being shown to you. So always be on safe side and never disclose
the personal information unless you are satisfied with your
partner's information. Also don't send your photos. To be on safe side, while chatting or
talking use some fake or made up name and also the email address
should also be fake.
RED FLAG#2: No solid contact number
They do not have any solid contact numbers. If any of the following situations sound familiar, be prepared to further investigate the possibility of a situation you may not be aware of.
a) You progressed to contact them over the phone, but the problem is you can't ever contact them!
b) You have to page them for them to call you back. Only they
will call you but you cannot.
c) They use a separate line. If so, try calling their main line at random times.
d) You can only call during certain periods of time. Again, if this applies to you, try calling at different time periods to see who answers the phone.
RED FLAG#3: Asks for money
Since you are dating only online, your relationship is not that deep yet that your date
should ask for financial help. Asking for funds may destroy the
relationship which could become a long lasting relationship in
future. If
you or your date asks for money, it may show that the person's financial
condition is not very sound which may push you away from your
partner. Avoid getting into financial trouble by following a simple rule;
"don't lend or borrow money".
RED FLAG#4: The efforts to continue the
relationship
Are you the only one making an effort in altering your lifestyle to have this
dating relationship ongoing? Do you notice no efforts on other's
part? This is a telltale sign of things to come if you develop an off-line romance.
You should be aware of the fact that no relationship exists for
long with solely one person's efforts. If you find this happening to you, talk about it to your partner and ask them to meet you half way in your efforts.
RED FLAG#5: Feeling of Insecurity
Is your potential partner is overly insecure about your off-line or online
activities? Just as in any relationship, a person who is overly insecure about something can end up being an emotionally draining experience. Take a
step back, and really look at whether this is something you're willing to put up with if the relationship happened to last two to three years. If not, move on and find someone more
independent.
RED FLAG#6: Eager to get married
If you think
that your potential partner wants to get married too bad, think
about it seriously. His/Her eagerness to marry may be a sign of
loneliness, rejection or feelings of resentment toward others.
Such individuals sometimes marry to get out of their home or to
avoid loneliness. However, they will often carry their past
baggage with them into a marriage. It is suggested that couples
take their time and not rush into marriage. Date a while and
really get to know each other. RED FLAG#7: Pressure
for Sex
One of the biggest warning signs while dating is when
someone is constantly pressuring the person they are dating to
have sex. If your date pushes you for sexual favors, this is one
of the biggest red flags. If you are uncomfortable with a person's
advances, communicate that with him/her. You need to know each
other more before stepping into such relationship. Their
response will tell you how much they care about you. If they
continue pressuring you, they are just disregarding your beliefs
and values.
RED FLAG#8: Reality VS. Fantasy
There are many different viewpoints towards a dating relationship founded through the Internet. To save future hurt and embarrassment, make sure you know your potential partner's philosophies. Do they view an Internet
dating as a real relationship, or is it a way to live out a fantasy life? If it's the later, be careful to avoid being their latest cyber fling.
Remember, any dating relationship will have its red flags. If you're really ready for a
relationship or interested in developing one, you'll be able to spot them, handle them and get on with your life with little or no loss.
Are you a perfect date?
OR Have you found a match of your choice? Have you
ever wondered why its difficult for you to find a person of your
dreams?
If you've ever wondered why you may be finding it difficult to find your
perfect match, it may be time to analyze what it is
YOU are offering. To get a good partner, you have
to be a great match first. The following questions are aimed at helping you discover your dateability.
Are you happy?
If you are always happy with positive thoughts, you are a
perfect match. People pick up on unconscious thoughts. If you're not happy, it is pretty safe to say you are permeating the air with your negativity. Find out what would really make you happy, and do it! Positive people are people magnets. Find yourself and you may also find the other half you are looking for.
Do you have future goals, dreams or desires?
A dream is an aspiration for something greater than you have now. It could mean improving yourself, visiting a foreign land, or even owning a rare collector's piece. Whatever your dreams and goals are to you, it is important to have them, and have plans to achieve them. A person who is trying to achieve a goal or dream is showing that they are willing to grow as a person.
And we would love to be close to such person. It can also show your ability to make something happen for yourself and possibly for a potential partner.
Are you financially stable?
While this is not an end-all criterion, it does reflect how independent, stable or ambitious you are. If you're not in a comfortable financial
position now, you wont be able to concentrate on and keep your
date happy as it should be. Think of the ways to increase your
monetary flow. You'll feel happier, and be a better match, even if all you have is a plan of action that you are carrying out.
What are you doing for yourself?
If you aren't engaged in any hobbies, self-improvement or other interests, you may be giving signals that you
are a boring date. Furthermore, having independent interests will help you keep your personal identity in a
relationship, keep your relationship lively and also keep your
date actively interested in you.
Do you feel you may be overly critical or negative towards other people or life?
Nobody likes negative comments or criticism even if they are true. If you are a happy person with live attitude and always appreciating other peoples efforts and their point of view, you will be the best person and a
perfect match for your partner. Presenting negative comments in the positive way is a plus point to your
personality in winning a heart.
Do you say "my ex" more than 5 times a day?
What's done is done. If you want a potential partner to remain interested, don't give off signs that you're still emotionally committed. Allow yourself the freedom to be free. Sometimes it is easier to cling to the past than to face what is right in front of you. Don't let thoughts of an ex hold you back from enjoying your future.
Do you know what went wrong in your past relationship(s)?
The first step to overcoming a problem is to realize there is one. If you haven't already, take an objective look at your past relationships and find out
why it ended and what the alternatives could have been to make
it better.
Do you know what you want in a your partner?
If you haven't taken the time to narrow this down, this could very likely be the reason you are without. When creating your list, be sure to include things you do not want as well. Mark off which things are red flags and which things you can live with. If you find an interest entering a red flag zone, do yourself a favor and look for someone else.
Also remember nobody is perfect, somewhere adjustment is needed
from both the ends.
Do you feel you may be too insecure?
If you are dating with a person of your choice, are you giving him/her enough space to breathe? If you do not give space to your partner to breathe and feel insecure that you will lose him/her if left alone, then you are mistaken. Your partner would always appreciate the sense of freedom you have in mind and will always stay close to you.
Would you date you?
Is it not an interesting question? But it is a very important
issue to think about. Try to answer it, "Would
you date 'YOU'?" Think of the qualities you would like to
have in your partner and also of those which you don't want. Your yes/no
to those qualities and attributes would be the answer and will help you in being a better person
by quitting and accepting the right ones and thus a better a match.
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